Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
