using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
