can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
