Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
