I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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