i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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