hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
