2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Nicole vs. Life
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
