Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
