ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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