That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
