This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
