My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
