Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Randomize
