after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
