You work out of a Hotel?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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