i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
