i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
