Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
