I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
