is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
