should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
