God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
