See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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