he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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