I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
