Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You took a bar mat shot.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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