I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
