Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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