I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
