Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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