I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
