sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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