Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
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