My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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