my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
