i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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