Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
