speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
