one might say we're banned from that church
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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