Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
