he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
