she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
