So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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