after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
