I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
