You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i believe in u and ur pee
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
