How'd it feel making her break her religion?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
