I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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