then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
