Sry I called you an 8
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
